The biggest B.A.D.A.S.S. in the whole wide world

Is it a lion? No! Is it a shark? No! Is it a T-Rex? No!
FUCK YOU, it's a honey badger and he doesn't give a shit!!!
Slow mo bitches.

Jesus Wagner FUBAR Crew Survivalguide

If hell is full, the end is near and doom raises for the big slaughtering there's only one person manifesting the whole world's manpower who can save us all. He will save mother earth and fists the bunch of ugly creatures back to hell.
We proudly present your godhead, the slayer of all evil:

DR. WAGNER

24/7 Cheerleading! Our only way to survive!

FINALLY someone has found the secret weapon to make the world a better place. 

To keep up a normal way of live all, repeat ALL, cute Cheerleading females of the western world now MUST keep cheerleading, jumping, running around and building these sweaty but arousing all-body pyramids all the time. Now our planet will still wither and die, but at least the male part will go down smiling.

By the way, as this is obviously NO fake, we're incredibly sorry for the cute girl below. It's a little, embarrasing and painful step for you, but a fairly big one for mankind. 

Hereby we declare this true.